What a guy!

So my dad had a pretty messed up childhood, filled with both abuse and neglect. His biological and step father were sadistic men with their own twisted sense of parenthood. Although their styles of "parenting" were different from one another, it is the combination of both of them together that fucked him up. 

His mother was pretty helpless. Obviously, she was dreadful when it came to choosing men. She also took much of this abuse from them which left her without a voice to defend my dad. In fact, he was the one that protected her. He had to grow up at a very young age, while still trying to act his own age; this lead to the sneaky, lying, manipulative, and angry side of my father that my family often dealt with. 

Growing up he was in and out of numerous boarding schools, getting kicked out for a number of things. But at one very small prep school in Maine he met someone, a very special woman. Although he was expelled from Hebron and he always complained about how horrible it was I know he wouldn't have traded it for anything. When he left Hebron he also cut ties with all of the people that he met there.

But then a miracle happened and my dad reconnected with that special woman I mentioned before, that lady is my mom. Even though they only dated for a few months and had a quick four day engagement, their marriage was based on love, and that's the most important thing. I can honestly say that without my mom, my dad might have never moved on from his past. She made him find a new purpose in life and allowed him to become the father that he never had. 

He had a career. He was a chef that worked at restaurants all around the world, and studied at some of the best culinary institutes. My dad was involved in our lives, and he worked hard to provide for us. I personally never would have expected him to have lived such a shitty life, because the Andy Bloomingdale that I knew was one giant teddy bear that cared for his family.

But in March of 2001 his mom passed away in a plane crash off the coast of Iceland. She was the pilot alongside her partner (she came out of the closet later on in my dad's life, sorry I forgot to mention that). Soon after that he got diagnosed with both Hepatitis C and Type 2 Diabetes, this is not a pair of diseases that should be combined. Over time these illnesses were no longer a characteristic of my father, it became who he was. He allowed the diseases to define him, he gave up.

My mom, brother, and myself all took this in a different way. Since I do not feel like I can speak for my family about this topic I'll just mention my take on the whole thing:

I hated that he gave up, but I also get it. He had a horrible upbringing that he somehow managed to break free from. He turned his life around into something to be proud of, he became the father that he never had. I was a daddy's girl, and I'll admit it. I know he spoiled me, I was his little Mippington, and he was my buddy. I know that he was not the most responsible of parents out there, in fact he was more like one big kid, but I loved that about him. He also had the biggest heart, he was genuine and cared for everyone. He was passionate, and when he found something that interested him he would become fully devoted. What a guy!

Andy Butter Bloomingdale Sr. was a man who could have allowed his childhood to define him, but he didn't, and that's kinda cool.