Happy 23rd

Let me take a minute to talk about my brother. For those of you that do not know, he is a Halloween baby meaning that this holiday has always been associated with his birthday. How could I not be jealous? Candy AND birthday cake...Lucky!

So what do I get the guy that has everything? His passions are watches and cars but something tells me if I got him a watch he would laugh because it wouldn't be up to his standards, and I'm not about to buy him a car. Then it hit me, instead of getting him a tangible gift, I'll just get all sappy and brag about him to the world!

When people think of Aj they think of someone who is successful, put together, confident, and a gentleman. While yes all of these characteristics are true, he is so much more than that. Aj is the kind of guy that would take a bullet for anybody, and I use the term 'anybody' because he really would. He genuinely cares about people and getting to know them. Not everyone sees this side of him though because he tends to spend most of his time with a close-knit group of people as opposed to a large crowd. 

Aj is also one of the hardest working people I know. This wasn't always the case, in fact I remember when we were little my mom and him would have a constant battle at getting him to do homework. Now though, he's a beast. He takes a challenge head on and will work his ass off until it's done perfectly. He's also a people-person, he makes an impression on every single person he meets. His ability to spark a conversation with anybody and with such ease is actually amazing to watch. He never gets awkward and weird like me. 

He is also one of my best friends, probably my best friend for that matter. He knows how to talk me down when I get emotional, be goofy with me when I'm feeling goofy, and be my voice of reason when I'm acting ridiculous. Yes, we are two completely different people and sometimes I wonder how we came from the same set of parents, but somehow it works. Our family has been through a lot of ups and downs, but Aj has always been that constant support through it all. Even when we were little and my dad would have a seizure when we were home alone, he always took control and made sure I was okay. Even though the role of who was in charge of the medical stuff changed over the years, he would always ask how I was doing after I would change one of my dads bandages or after I gave him his medicine through his IV. He was supportive, and he still is. 

Aj, you are one amazing man who is going to accomplish some big things in your life, I can't wait to see what the future holds for you. Even though you changed your mind and stole my dream of having a lake house in Vermont, I'm not upset because that means that we don't have to live on opposite sides of the country anymore. I can see it now... Mippington and Aje Bear... Neighbors? 

So I hope this post will suffice for your birthday and I promise, I'll try to think of something better for Christmas!

What a guy!

So my dad had a pretty messed up childhood, filled with both abuse and neglect. His biological and step father were sadistic men with their own twisted sense of parenthood. Although their styles of "parenting" were different from one another, it is the combination of both of them together that fucked him up. 

His mother was pretty helpless. Obviously, she was dreadful when it came to choosing men. She also took much of this abuse from them which left her without a voice to defend my dad. In fact, he was the one that protected her. He had to grow up at a very young age, while still trying to act his own age; this lead to the sneaky, lying, manipulative, and angry side of my father that my family often dealt with. 

Growing up he was in and out of numerous boarding schools, getting kicked out for a number of things. But at one very small prep school in Maine he met someone, a very special woman. Although he was expelled from Hebron and he always complained about how horrible it was I know he wouldn't have traded it for anything. When he left Hebron he also cut ties with all of the people that he met there.

But then a miracle happened and my dad reconnected with that special woman I mentioned before, that lady is my mom. Even though they only dated for a few months and had a quick four day engagement, their marriage was based on love, and that's the most important thing. I can honestly say that without my mom, my dad might have never moved on from his past. She made him find a new purpose in life and allowed him to become the father that he never had. 

He had a career. He was a chef that worked at restaurants all around the world, and studied at some of the best culinary institutes. My dad was involved in our lives, and he worked hard to provide for us. I personally never would have expected him to have lived such a shitty life, because the Andy Bloomingdale that I knew was one giant teddy bear that cared for his family.

But in March of 2001 his mom passed away in a plane crash off the coast of Iceland. She was the pilot alongside her partner (she came out of the closet later on in my dad's life, sorry I forgot to mention that). Soon after that he got diagnosed with both Hepatitis C and Type 2 Diabetes, this is not a pair of diseases that should be combined. Over time these illnesses were no longer a characteristic of my father, it became who he was. He allowed the diseases to define him, he gave up.

My mom, brother, and myself all took this in a different way. Since I do not feel like I can speak for my family about this topic I'll just mention my take on the whole thing:

I hated that he gave up, but I also get it. He had a horrible upbringing that he somehow managed to break free from. He turned his life around into something to be proud of, he became the father that he never had. I was a daddy's girl, and I'll admit it. I know he spoiled me, I was his little Mippington, and he was my buddy. I know that he was not the most responsible of parents out there, in fact he was more like one big kid, but I loved that about him. He also had the biggest heart, he was genuine and cared for everyone. He was passionate, and when he found something that interested him he would become fully devoted. What a guy!

Andy Butter Bloomingdale Sr. was a man who could have allowed his childhood to define him, but he didn't, and that's kinda cool.