This past August my Dad passed away on my birthday. Everyone expects me to be sad and depressed, but truthfully I found the whole thing to be quite beautiful. I believe that the most important days in a persons life are the day they were born and the day they die. To be able to say that I get to share that with my Dad is something that not many people can say they have.
August 30, 2014 is now our day.
To rewind a little bit, he had been sick for the last 14 years of my life. After his mother passed away he was soon diagnosed with Hepatitis C and later Type Two Diabetes, this is not a mix that anyone should have to live with. However, there were times when I would forget how sick he really was. We would go on rides up and down the coast of Cape Ann, have Sunday morning brunches at the local diner, and he was even the loudest parent at all of my youth soccer games. But then certain instances would occur and he would have a seizure, or he would be too sick to go to brunch, and the father daughter dates became a lot more spread out, until they just kind of stopped. As time went on and I started to grow up and realize the severity of his illnesses, I realized that those promises he was making about going to the movies or taking the family out to dinner were normally empty and they would never actually happen. Not being able to trust the words that come out of the most important person in your life’s mouth was hard to grasp; especially when you don’t want the reality of the situation to be the reason behind it.
I went away to boarding school for my junior and senior years of High School, and now I am currently in my sophomore year of college. I knew that at any moment I could get the call saying that my Dad passed away in his sleep, or that he did something to endanger those around him, aka my mother. Luckily, I never had to be on the receiving end of that phone conversation because the day he passed away was the Saturday I was supposed to move into college.
That whole week he had been in the Hospice House, where they were giving him the treatment that my family could no longer give him.
“You guys just ran 90% of this marathon, now let us finish it so you can be the wife, daughter, and son that you deserve to be.” The nurse that said those words was the nurse that made me take a step back and realize that I’m not a caretaker. I’m a daughter who has no skills in the field of nursing, I just did what I had to do to make him more comfortable.
The day before my father died, my uncle and I drove all of my dorm stuff up to school. One of my main concerns was that I didn’t want to have to come back up to school and decorate after the fact. When we were done and heading back to the car I received a call from my mom telling me that my brother Aj and his girlfriend Sarah were on the way home from North Carolina. She said that tonight will probably be the night. The night that my Dad was going to pass away.
At about 8:30pm all of us were standing around him, saying what we thought were our last words to the man that I called Dad.
He died at 7:45pm the next day.
Beautiful Molly. Very honest, passionate, and full of love. I knew your Dad at boarding school. He was a good, kind man, with a big heart. Our household is also grieving for a loss that shouldn't have been. It's not fair. I'm sorry for your loss. Scott
ReplyDeleteso powerful. love this, love you!
ReplyDeleteits Alyssa not anonymous haha
I love this Molly! you're so brave for sharing with the world�� I love you!
ReplyDeleteLove you more than anything
ReplyDeleteOh Molly that was just too beautiful. I kinda know how you must have felt. My dad passed away on my mom's birthday. I am so sorry that I did not know that he had passed. I never would have let it go unnoticed. You are truly a beautiful person.
ReplyDeleteDear Molly, Spelling, check, Grammar, check, Sentence Structure, check. The message about how much you LOVE your Dad, outstanding. The Title of your Story “ The Butter Buddha.” PRICELESS. There is an expression about perfection. The term is “Killing Buddha.” The simple truth is that you can’t “Kill Buddha.” Just like we can never achieve perfection. It is a Journey Destination that no one ever arrives to. Yet many have tried. Your Dad was always on the Journey of Perfection. I don’t have to tell you all the different interest he had. His Love and Passion for, Food, Cars, Music, Mountain Biking and always being right. Quick story about your Dad having new suspension and precision tires being put on his new VW Sirocco . VW was cool put your Dad had to make it cooler. There was this tire place in Kendall Square Cambridge. The car was finished and we went to pick it up. We got two miles down the road and your Dad banged a UYee that almost through me out the window. I asked what’s a matter. He looks at his steering wheel and saw that it’s center line was at 11 O’clock and not at 12 O’clock. You would have thought the steering wheel GODS had reach down from the skies to tell your Dad to correct this injustice before he drove another mile. Ninety miles per hour on the thickly settled roads of Cambridge, we arrived in seconds. Jumping out of the car, he started looking for the Mechanic who worked the car. Once he found him, he started on about why the steering wheel was cockeyed and how after doing all this work could they take advantage of him. Yadda Yadda Yadda. After your Dad finished his victim speech the Mechanic simple said, “ I notices that you had a brand new, “ MOMO,” steering wheel in the back seat and figured you were going to put it on later. So I took the liberty to align it for the new Steering wheel. Well the wind was not just taken out of your Dads Sails, they were lowered down put in sail bags and into the sail lockers. Your Dad was speechless. It was the most humbling moment that I shared with your Dad. Your Dads striving for Perfection was the result of not having total control in the early years of his Life. I love your Dad like a brother and he taught me about how exciting life can be. We didn’t see each other all the time, but we would always pick-up without missing a beat. A true friend. Your dad turned me on to Reggae Music. Most of All the great philosopher Bob Marley. He had a song with the Lyric that go,
ReplyDelete“DON’T WORRY ABOUT A THING EVERY LITTLE THINGS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT.” You know the song. It’s called Three Little Birds. Guess what? If you ever hear that song out of the Blue, guess who is going to try to tell you something? Guess who the Three Little Birds are? I would say that your Dad almost Killed Buddha with his Three little Birds. Love Scott.
Molly I am so proud of you. You found a wonderful way to honor dad and to honor your wonderful relationship with him. You are a terrific young woman!! Denise
ReplyDeletemolly i am so so sorry for your loss, i had no idea. this was so beautifully written, keep your head high. love, lindsay brandes
ReplyDelete